Friday, January 14, 2005

Vacuum America

Wanna know why Air America has ratings that would make the WB wince (i.e. their ratings REALLY suck)? Do ya? Okay, I'll spill.

(Suck-ass product and/or service) + Choice = You Lose.

Air America is difficult to take for more than a few minutes--I know, I've tried. Al Franken's 10+ minute parody of Richard Scaife Theatre (Scaife is a loaded Clintonophobe) was the worst steaming pile of dogshit I've encountered since my cousin's dog dropped a monster dump on the lawn in 10 degree weather that literally had steam rising therefrom. The "sketch" consisted of faux Bill and Hillary (is that redundant or is a fuax of a phony actually the real thing?) talking back and forth about how they were coke fiend murderers and blah blah blah. FOR 10 FUCKING MINUTES!!! The idea had potential but when your satire looks to a 20 kiloton nuke for subtlety, it's time to hire some new writers, or at least run this shit by someone. Ugh.

Randi Rhodes is all over the map but nonetheless manages to bypass Logicsburg and Coherenecyville. She blames Bush for the death of Warren Harding. Actually, I didn't hear her say that, but wouldn't be surprised if she had--it's that bad. She went on one rant--a bit disorienting for what it suggested about her stability--in which she ended up criticizing the IRS for trying to collect employee payroll taxes stolen by businesses.

If you don't know, when employers withhold employees' share of payroll taxes and don't turn the $over to the IRS are STEALING FROM THEIR EMPLOYEES. Fortunately, the IRS doesn't go after the taxpaying employee, but goes after the thief. Now here's Ms. Rhodes--Ms. "I'm for the little guy against eeevil Bush and Halliburton and oppressors and companies and rich people"--all in a tizzy because the government is cracking down on companies that steal their employees' withheld funds. Of course, the reason is because Ms. Rhodes once owned a business and stole her employees' withholding funds (thats what she said, so I guess it's possible she was wrong, but then again...), and the IRS rightly bitchslapped her (the IRS licks the sweat out of a homeless guy's inner crotchrot, but I side with them when employers do this). She's so out of control--she was using this rant to criticize our eeevil dictator--that she was totally unaware of how ridiculous she sounded.

Problem 1. They are hate-filled and projecting. That's interesting for about 8 minutes. Their malevolence clouds their vision of what makes Rush so successful--his positivity and diligence--and the more infuriated they become, the more the situation self-perpetuates.

Problem 2. The Left is a Church--they have hopelessly and seamlessly merged their ideology into their faith in a way that the Republicans, with their distinct physical Churches, never would--that's why lefty talk radio is not as viable. The left's fundamental tenets are sacrosanct, not to be questioned no matter what. No matter how wrong experience shows them to be on almost everything, their gospel is not subject to review. They have decided that their statist utopianism is The Way. That's why they pull out the personal attacks so quickly--how dare anyone question them, and they don't have the substance or practice to answer critics regardless. That makes for painfully boring radio.

How many Air America listeners does it take to change a light bulb? On some days, both of them.

Problems 3-xx. [omitted]


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