Friday, January 14, 2005

Eli Manning is a goober

Peyton's spoiled dickweed of a brother, Eli, is even outpuds Peyton. The little pissant refused to play for the Chargers (which would only have been excusable had his gripe been that they don't use the powder blues more, or even the Air Coryell Era threads) because he said their organization wasn't up to their standards. He's a boob from Ole Miss, who the hell does he think he is?

So he orchestrates a trade to the New York Giants of New Jersey. I think maybe it's because he has the hots for Giants bench QB Jesse "I was on 'The Bachelor' but didn't get to" Palmer. It certainly couldn't have been because of football. The Giants suck, and had to give up 1st and 5th round picks and Phil Rivers, the potential stud QB (and by all acounts, non-prick) they took with the 4th pick, for the privilege of smelling the arrogant shit's southern fired farts for the next several years and paying him a toll booth full of c-notes for that privilege.

So what happens? The Chargers grow a pair, go 12-4, host a playoff game, and came within Marty Shottenheimer's sudden spouting of a vagina once his team got within longish field goal range in OT of being on their way to Pittsburgh to joust with the Men of Steel. Giants broke the Cardinal Line (double digit losses), with little poopy pants pissant Eli taking the helm while the team still had a shot at the playoffs and navigating his team down the toilet like a Tidy Bowl man after his ninth MeadowlandsLong Island Iced Tea. Nice move, Eli.

The Giants are a mess and the Chargers get a high first round draft pick, a prospect comparable in ability but almost certainly less dickish in character, and a 5th round pick (don't snicker, Tex, Tom Brady who has 2 more Super Bowl rings than the entire Manning clan, was a sixth round guy).


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