Saturday, October 09, 2004

Vive le douchebag

During the debate last night, Kerry better made the case that he is a repugnant, condescending prick than any of his detractors ever could.

Kerry wants to appeal to envy, wrath, and sloth by ganging up on people who happen to make more than $200K a year and fucking them out of even more of their money, even though these are the people who already pay far more than their fair share. Extolling a principle that surely would have given Jefferson and Washington raging hard-ons and trying to make the point that it's okay to fuck these people because there aren't that many of them (leaving aside the abject stupidity of shoving a dildo spiked with disincentives up the collective ass of the most productive people of our economy), Senator Smarmy Shitbag looked over the debate audience and assured them that his latter day monetary dekulakization wouldn't confront the audience of "undecideds" none because, "Lookin' around here at this group here, I suspect there are only three people here who are going to be affected," by the Democrats' latest resort to class warfare: Senator Fuckface himself (I think he meant his wife), the President, and "sorry, Charlie [debate moderator Charles Gibson of ABC, the Impaired and Imbalanced Network whose news commissar just urged his people to skew coverage in favor of Senator Chablis]."

What an ass! Even if Kerry's inference about the crowd were true or even defensible, EVEN IF THE FUCK WERE STANDING IN A FUCKING SOUP KITCHEN!, what a total ass. Why didn't Kerry just be honest--uh, oh yeah--and say what he meant, which was "I'm Senator Kerry, I'm rich, and I'm better than all of you, and you are the dirty unwahsed masses from flyover country who don't have $8000 bikes and 5 homes and all that shit, basically I'm better than you and I know best so you should do what I say you pathetic underlings." Well that's fucking so charming that if I had been one of those "undecideds" and wore panties I'd've taken them off and thrown them on the stage.

How stupid is Kerry? Don't answer, because in addition to his egregious lack of manners and class, you also get his Boston Brahmin ass also betraying a wopping ignorance of wealth in the U.S., especially the wealth of the self-made--which makes sense, because the Senator has married into wealth twice, has never created or built a thing or even run a business (based on his own initiative or family connections or anything), and has no better credentials to blather on self-made affluence than some bleached bag of tits and ass who marries a rich geezer or two. John Kerry, Anna Nicole without the tits, whoopdee fucking doo.

If Senator Munster could haul his hideously elongated face out of the brie long enough to procure some knowledge about the country he feels entitled to govern, he might know that that crowd in Missouri could well have contained several millionaires. Statistically, American millionaires tend to be modest in their expenditures. They are as likely to drive a three year old Buick as a brand new civilian Panzercruiser produced by BMW during its between wars of conquest hiatus (which has gone on longer than usual this time but will inevitably end). The typical millionaire follows the heartland philosophy of "earn more than you show, speak less than you know." Would that Senator Swissmiss boarding school follow that advice and stop demeaning his service in some country, starts with a V (and by extension and more importantly, the service of people who didn't come home and call our guys, who performed incredibly, war criminals so he could get an ideological handjob from Hanoi Jane and then run for Congress. Ass.).

Typical American millionaires also are unlikely to drop thousands of bucks on Eurotrash uber-bikes and cheesy spandex for flip-flop windsurfing. Perhaps this is because, unlike Senator "Waiter, there's semen in my" Ketchup, the typical millionaire earned his or her money and doesn't want to throw it around but would prefer to keep it for long-term security and the trifling obligations of the hoi polloi, like paying for childrens' education and whatnot.

Unlike Senator Golddigging Rectum Face, the statistically typical American millionaire achieved a measure of financial success by either running a small business or contributing valuable skills or professional services to the economy, while living below his or her means.

When you have a billion dollars that you didn't earn, you too might emulate Senator Kerry and not know how the typical millionaire made it happen. I would hope and expect that you, a random reader, would have more class than to emulate Kerry's condescending idiocy.

Or as denizens of the Senator's favorite potemkin ally might parlez, "Que douchebag."


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October 25, 2005 at 9:33 PM  

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